The penny game

My 5-year-old daughter, Paris, and I had two full days to explore Washington, D.C. We started day one by walking to the Washington Monument and Paris immediately began to complain. "Too hot!" "I'm tired of walking!" "I thought this trip was going to be fun!" Her remarks irritated me--and rather than deal with my grumpy kid I simply became grumpy myself. Overall, we had a good day but it was marked by moments of Paris complaining and me complaining about her complaining.

On day 2, I decided that we would do things differently. Before we left the hotel, I presented the penny game to Paris. Here's how it worked: When Paris spoke politely to me or was patient, I gave her a penny. When she complained or was rude, I took away a penny. When she collected 10 pennies, she got an ice cream.

Generally, I don't like to reward my kids because I believe they should be self-motivated and learn to want to do things--such as finish their homework and go to bed at night--for themselves, not for a treat or money. But desperate times call for desperate measures and when I expect my kids to do something out of the ordinary, I think rewards are helpful. And in this case, I was asking a 5-year-old to walk miles (blocks in D.C. are long) and wait in long lines (we waited for an hour to get into the Museum of Natural History).

The penny game was a huge success. Paris said please and thank you throughout the day and she didn't complain once while we waited some two hours to see the original Declaration of Independence. Instead, we sang songs, told stories, and had lots of laughs while others complained in line. By 4 p.m. Paris had earned her 10 pennies and I bought her an ice cream sandwich. She happily devoured the treat on the steps of the National Archives, but before finishing it off she handed me the last bite. She performed a true act of kindness without even expecting a penny.