Babies on planes: What's the fuss?

As a parent I often hear people complain about babies on airplanes--the sleeping bundles who suddenly break into howling screams at landing, or the kids who kick the seat backs.

Yes, children make noise, but I'm tiring of people who immediately assume that all babies on planes are as noisy as yapping chihuahuas. When my daughter was only 4-months-old, I flew with her to Europe. For the entire 10-hour flight she snuggled up in my lap under a blanket, either sleeping or nursing. When the plane landed and I lifted up the blanket, a guy sitting near me commented, "Gosh, I didn't even know you had a baby." Many children under 2 are still nursing and it makes sense for them to be in their mothers' laps. Plus the nursing helps their ears adjust to the change in altitude.
Children under 2 typically aren't the problems on planes. It's when they turn 2 that they become a challenge. This is when the screaming fits can occur. Sometimes kids cry just to cry and that's unfortunate for others on the plane, but often a meltdown can be controlled or prevented all together by a parent. If you're bringing a child on a plane, you'll have a smoother experience if you pack toys, games, snacks, and chewing gum or hard candy to help pop your kids' ears. If your child has a cold, then it's wise to delay travel--because the ear pain can be unbearable for a kid. Or at least give your child a dose of Advil. It also helps to talk with your kids about proper behavior before boarding. And most importantly, you simply need to be relaxed and calm about flying. If you're stressed out, your kids pick up on this.
But parents aren't the only ones who need to take a few deep breaths before boarding the plane. Other passengers need to as well because kids feed off of stress. They don't know how to block out the bad vibes coming from the paranoid "baby hater" sitting in the row ahead--and this makes little ones nervous and behave badly.
If you get stuck sitting next to a kid, look the mom or dad in the eye and say, "Hello." Ask the child his name. Maybe do something nice like offer to help put the carry-on in the overhead bin, and then get on with your nap or your reading. You don't have to play Go Fish with the tyke or teach him how to wiggle his ears, but being friendly and civil will go a long way. The child will probably surprise you with good behavior.
I think most often parents flying with kids are so concerned about offending those around them that they go above and beyond to keep quiet. Once when my son and I were sitting in the middle and window seats, a man fell asleep in the aisle. My son had to go to the bathroom, and so I called on a flight attendant to lift my son over this sleeping man and then I lifted myself over him--just so we didn't have to wake him up.
Now I don't want to give off the false impression that plane flights with my kids have always been perfect. Generally, they go well but we have had our issues. My son once kicked a seat back. The guy sitting in front got angry--not bothering to ask nicely at first--and I worked with my son to solve the situation. But it was tough because my son was strapped in his car seat that had lifted him up close to this man's reclined seat. My son could barely move without nudging the seat, and so he ended up in my lap for most of the flight.
But is a little kid nudging the back of your seat a couple times the worst case scenario on an airplane? I have sat next to more obnoxious people on planes. The man who fell asleep and then started snoring so loudly that I couldn't even block out the noise by listening to the movie with headphones. There was the woman who made terrible smells. The endless number of people who have wanted to talk my ear off. And on my most recent flight from San Diego to San Francisco, the older guy who was playing video games with the sound on loud the entire flight. But do you know what? None of this really bothers me. When I fly, I'm not expecting meditate. I'm packed into a flying sardine can with a bunch of strangers--how can this be perfectly pleasant? I'm on the plane to get somewhere and typically I hope to start a crossword and read my kids some books.
Some people feel that children don't even belong on airplanes. But if I never took my kids on planes then they wouldn't have met their great-grandpa Russ. They never would have sat on his lap. They would have missed his funeral. If my kids never flew, they wouldn't have spent Thanksgiving with their aunt Judy. They wouldn't know their cousins. Families these days are spread out all over the country--the world--and sometimes you have to put a kid on a plane to see their grandparents.
And if you really can't stand sitting next to a child, then book ahead and arrange to sit in an exit row.