How to plan a mother-daughter getaway

Posted on 10:31 PM by
I let my 5-year-old daughter, Paris make the call to her friend Tomo in Portland, Ore. "We're coming to visit you! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Paris excitedly screamed over the phone. I could hear Tomo cheering on the other end of the line.

Before Paris starts kindergarten at the end of August, I decided to take her on a special getaway to Portland, Ore., where one of her best friends recently moved. We had a busy summer with little time alone together and Paris was anxious about going to a new school. She seemed to need a few days away with just the girls.

This isn't our first vacation together. She tagged along on my work trip to Waikiki, where we swam with dolphins, took a hula lesson, and ate lots of pineapple. I find that mother-daughter getaways renew relationships and create lasting memories. Paris is always saying, "Remember in Hawaii when we..."

Here are some tips on how you can plan a mother-daughter vacation and make sure things go smoothly on the road:

Plan the trip together. Here's the rule: Mom picks three places and then the daughter choses one of them. Try to come up with three very different options--a destination in the mountains, at the beach, and in the city. And then when your daughter picks your least favorite option, keep your mouth shut!

Visit a place that's new to both of you. Your daughter doesn't want to hear you saying, "And last time with your father...." You'll bond much more easily if you're exploring a destination that's entirely new to both of you.

Avoid shopping-centric trips. Shopping is probably the one thing that you do together at home. There's nothing all that special about it. Try other activities such as taking a hike, browsing a museum, riding bikes, taking a cooking class.

Leave expectations at home. Make sure you're both clear on this rule before you go. No one is allowed to say things such as, "And I thought we would do this..." "I thought this would be more fun..." "I thought you wouldn't be so moody if I took you on a trip..."

Set a budget. Let your daughter know how much you money have to spend, and involve her in the budgeting. It's a great learning experience. To stop your daughter from incessantly asking you to buy stuff, tell her that you'll buy only one souvenir--and be sure to set a price limit.

Invite others to join you. Traveling with other mothers and daughters--or aunts or grandma--can be a lot of fun. If you have a teenager, this might help ease tension.

Have you gone on a mother-daughter vacation? What tips do you have to offer?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with you 100% about the restorative benefits of mother-daughter trips, and credit my (mostly) excellent relationship with my own daughter, Isabel, to our many little trips together over the years. You are very wise to make this a priority, Amy.

I do want to issue a little defense of shopping. It's one of the things Isabel and I enjoy most when we go on trips together -- something the men in our family do not relish. We walk around and shop, mostly just looking, occasionally buying something special. Isabel is still too young for wine-tasting and our museum visits have always felt a little dutiful. (I shouldn't say that -- I sound very uncultured! -- but it's true.)

I know shopping is sort of frivolous, but if the goal is mother-daughter bonding, I think you do whatever works. And for us, shopping is it. Oh, and eating. Shopping and eating.

Enjoy your trip. It sounds wonderful!
Jennifer

fran97swim said...

I think this is some great advice! My mother and i cannot decide on a place though! We have seen an lot of things about Paris,France but we live slightly to far away to go there! Alos i have to agree with the other commenter my mother and i love shopping and eating that is just about all we could do in free time at home. WE will defintely go shopping when we have out mother-daughter trip!!

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